Sunday 9 January 2011

Worst Movies of 2010: The 15 That Hurt the Most

It goes without saying that we love movies. You don't work for places called "Moviefone" and "Cinematical" if you're not willing to chance a bad film every time you hit the cinema. So while we're loyal (and sometimes even charitable) moviegoers ... we're not fools. And we know a cinematic stinkpile when we see it. So with much chagrin and a small amount of snark, we put our movie minds together and came up with the worst of the worst.

In other words, lots of movies are good. Here are 15 of the other kind:

15.'Cop Out' -- "A comedy disaster like this one is far less fun than a drama -- like Willis' own 'Color of Night' -- or a sci-fi turkey like 'Battlefield Earth.' A disaster drama can be funny, but a disaster comedy is not." -- Jeffrey M. Anderson (full review) -- Rotten Tomatoes Score: 29 positive / 125 negative = 19% -- Domestic Box Office: $44.8 million

14. 'The Wolfman' --"Despite all that production mess, 'The Wolfman' will either be seen as a squandered opportunity to pay homage to the golden years of Hollywood horror or a kick-in-the-pants bit of stupid, noisy fun. Both are true." --- John Gholson (full review) -- Rotten Tomatoes Score: 66 positive / 133 negative = 33% -- Domestic Box Office: $61.9 million

13. 'Leap Year' -- "The fact that (Amy) Adams, through the sheer force of her feisty screen presence, almost makes this debacle tolerable is a testament to her talent. More resonant, however, is the disappointing realization that she agreed to make such an unfunny, dunderheaded comedy in the first place." -- Eric D. Snider (full review) -- Rotten Tomatoes Score: 25 positive / 94 negative = 21% -- Domestic Box Office: $25.9 million

12. 'Yogi Bear' -- "Prevents Anna Faris from being funny, which I wouldn't have thought was possible. In a way, though, the film is faithful to the old cartoons, in that it's grating and tiresome and not suitable for anyone over the age of 4. The animation is better, though." -- Eric D. Snider (full review) -- Rotten Tomatoes Score: 8 positive / 49 negative = 14% -- Domestic Box Office: $21.7 million(+)

11. 'The Back-Up Plan' -- "Yes, you will get to see (Jennifer) Lopez eat chili with her bare hands, but that's only half as disgusting as a close-up on a pregnancy test sinking into a pile of fresh dog vomit. A scene in which Robert Klein, playing Zoe's OB-GYN, shows off his blood-covered hands while repeating, 'Vagina! Vagina! Vagina!' won't have Judd Apatow losing any sleep." -- John Gholson (full review) -- Rotten Tomatoes Score: 26 positive / 104 negative = 20% -- Domestic Box Office: $37.4 million

10. 'Legion' -- "The only people who can gain anything from it are the unscrupulous cinematic scroungers who have the time and the (lack of) will to watch whatever trash comes their way. Even if you think you normally fall into that category (I know I often do), skip this one. There are no hidden junkyard treasures here; just junk." -- Peter Hall (full review) -- Rotten Tomatoes Score: 17 positive / 77 negative = 18% -- Domestic Box Office: $40.1 million

9. 'When in Rome' -- "Beth and Nick are supposed to have some sort of believable attraction, but it's impossible to build one if most of the movie is spent trying to duck a shirtless Dax Shepard. When they do try and get to know each other, it's through wooden monologues about magic and family and other supposedly character-developing details that just add to the jumble." -- Jenni Miller (full review) -- Rotten Tomatoes Score: 16 positive / 86 negative = 16% -- Domestic Box Office: $32.6 million

8. 'Grown Ups' -- "This is usually the place in a review where one writes, 'but at least the actors all looked like they had fun making it,' except in this case they really don't. Everyone in 'Grown Ups' looks like they showed up, hit their marks, said their lines, and collected a paycheck. There's no real joy here, just a product churned out to sell tickets, and one that's destined to be forgotten in a few months by anyone who bothers to see it." -- Dawn Taylor (full review) -- Rotten Tomatoes Score: 15 positive / 139 negative = 10% -- Domestic Box Office: $162 million (not a typo)

7. 'Valentine's Day' -- "Stay home and rent 'Love Actually,' or better yet, spend quality time with a loved one. I guarantee you'll learn more about relationships with a companion than you will by watching this movie, and best of all you'll have an enjoyable experience that doesn't require you to temper your enthusiasm before it even starts." -- Todd Gilchrist (full review) -- Rotten Tomatoes Score: 30 positive / 143 negative = 17% -- Domestic Box Office: $110.4 million

6. 'Clash of the Titans' -- "Does the new 'Titans' have a slightly bland lead actor? Yup. Does it have pacing issues in Act I and a small sense of confusion when it comes to keeping the peripheral characters involved? Indeed it does on both counts. Is the dialogue often pulpy and are the characters frequently a bit goofy? (Especially the Greek God characters?) Yes, yep, and absolutely on all counts." -- Scott Weinberg (full review) -- Rotten Tomatoes Score: 65 positive / 167 negative = 28% -- Domestic Box Office: $163.2 million

5.'A Nightmare on Elm Street' -- "The nightmares are where (Samuel) Bayer would be expected to step up and assert his own vision. After all, this is the man who has made hundreds of stylish music videos and commercials, so he should know a thing or two about snappy visuals. The nightmares are ... er, fine." -- Peter Martin (full review) -- Rotten Tomatoes Score: 20 positive / 136 negative = 13% -- Domestic Box Office: $63 million

4. 'The Bounty Hunter' -- "Unfortunately, (Jennifer) Aniston and (Gerard) Butler stay firmly in their prescribed roles-- burly, slightly dim-witted man versus smart, exasperated woman -- until the last third of the movie, when the ice begins to break between their two characters and they try, in a shallow, rom-com sorta way, to figure out what went wrong in their marriage." -- Jenni Miller (full review) -- Rotten Tomatoes Score: 9 positive / 114 negative = 7% -- Domestic Box Office: $67 million

3. 'Sex and the City 2' -- "Besides clocking in at a bloated 146 minutes, 'Sex and the City 2' is more about the opulence of their vacation and their wardrobes than the dialogue between women that won the HBO show so many loyal viewers." -- Jenni Miller (full review) -- Rotten Tomatoes Score: 30 positive / 162 negative = 16% -- Domestic Box Office: $95.3 million

2. 'The Last Airbender' -- "(M. Night) Shyamalan's oppressive, self-serious direction help(s) to create a summertime adventure that's frigid and unenjoyable, almost on purpose." -- Todd Gilchrist (full review) -- Rotten Tomatoes Score: 10 positive / 155 negative = 6% -- Domestic Box Office: $131.6 million(!)

1. 'Jonah Hex' -- "A jumbled mess of poorly-assembled images; you can't tell who's doing what to whom, it's just sound and fury, gunshots and explosions, accompanied by the heavy metal guitar-heavy power-chording of the musical score by Marco Beltrami and Mastodon, and then it's over and someone is running away and bodies are everywhere." -- Peter Martin (full review) -- Rotten Tomatoes Score: 19 positive / 123 negative = 13% -- Domestic Box Office: $10.5 million

(Special thanks to Rotten Tomatoes and Box Office Mojo for making this painful assignment a whole lot easier.)


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